Hi everyone, and welcome to Weekly Homilies with Father Mark Suslenko, Pastor of SS. Isidore and Maria Parish in Glastonbury, Connecticut. We are part of the Catholic Archdiocese of Hartford. I'm Carol Vassar, parish director of communications, and this is Episode 35 of Season 5 for the 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time: October 23, 2022. Our Gospel reading is from Luke, Chapter 18, verses 9-14.

Jesus addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else.

"Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector. The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, 'O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity — greedy, dishonest, adulterous -- or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’ 

But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, 'O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’ I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted."

The Gospel of the Lord

“God Has No Favorites," by Father Mark S. Suslenko, Pastor, SS. Isidore and Maria Parish, Glastonbury, Connecticut

There's something about the human condition that moves us to want to be seen as the favorite. The favorite. Now, this begins when we're very young children: to be the favorite pet of the teacher, the one who has all the answers; to be the favorite kid in the class, the one who's most popular; to be the favorite pick when it comes time to choosing teams for football; to be the favored sibling amongst all of my brothers and sisters.

We want to work to be the favorite. And maybe it's our egos that are looking to be nourished or something else going on. But we want to be recognized by those with authority over us as the one who has it all together. And we even bring this into our adult life when we get out into the work world, and we want to be on top of our game.

You know, maybe we learn the dynamics of the company we're working for, and we know what they look for when it comes to promotions. And so, therefore, we wanna be the favored one who has the most clients, who's the most successful salesperson, who's always on top of our game, who has all of the answers when asked, so that when that promotion comes along, we're gonna be the shining star that automatically gets picked, and then advance in our career. 

And so when you learn this dynamic and it becomes part of our life, and what it does is it produces within us to cut this competitive spirit that isn't always very healthy because we get this notion that my agenda, what I think I need and want, and what I want to achieve, and what I want to acquire is what's most important. Yours isn't. Mine is. Because I have to look out for myself so that I can be the favorite. I can be the successful one. I can be the one who's recognized. And this dynamic begins to create this unhealthy thing where we actually do a lot of comparing one to the other. And as this dynamic plays out, especially with younger children, but again, even into adulthood, we begin to learn things because of our position and status in life. So if we're not the one who's picked for the team, we're sent a message that we're not good enough. If we're not the one who's picked for the promotion, then we can easily get discouraged and lose heart. If we're not the one who is prominent in our social circles, if we don't have this huge body of friends, then we begin to feel somewhat inferior. So this unhealthy dynamic begins to play out as we go about this competitive business of our lives, putting our own agendas first and becoming the favored one. 

We even do this in terms of our faith. We tend to think if we can say all the right prayers and do all of the right things, that we're gonna somehow get a better hearing with God. That we're going to somehow win God's favor and be God's favorite one, too. So that when I close my eyes in death, having done all the things right, I just sail into heaven. 

But one of the hardest spiritual lessons any of us will learn is this: God has no favorites. We may be able to win ourselves over to other human beings and be successful in our own level field here, but God doesn't work that way. God doesn't have favorites. And that's because God sees us as we really are. Because that competitive game that we play with one another, that comparison thing that we do, what it does eventually is it causes us to create this false self, this false self, and that's the self that we want others to see. The self I want you to see is the polished version of who I am. It's not really who I am, it's what I want you to think I am. And so that's the successful one, the one who's always on top of things, the one who stress doesn't bother you, the one who's always performing, the one who is always shining and smiling and doing all of those perfect things. The one who's saying all the right prayers, the one who's in church, the one who's doing everything the way it's supposed to be done. 

But then there's the true self. It's who I really am.  The person I don't always show you, and that's the person who's broken, and that's what God knows about each one of us.

You see, God doesn't necessarily look at what we do well. God looks at who we are, and God knows our story of pain - of pain.  Because that's what kind of unites us together. No one gets through the world scot-free. Even that person who seems to have it all, and seems to appear most successful and has the biggest social circle and all of the things going for them that we would want for ourselves still has not gotten through the world scot-free. Because the one thing we know is that life, somehow, some way, is going to hurt us. And we all carry our stories of pain and brokenness, and God sees that, and he knows that about us.

And those stories of pain and brokenness are extremely personal. They're ours. They're not shared one to another. Oh, they can sound similar. I can talk about a pain that I have in my back, and you can talk about a pain in your back. But our experience of pain is individual and personal. I can't get inside of you to really know what you're feeling, nor can you get inside of me to know how I'm feeling.

And so as we live and move with one another in this world, carrying our brokenness, carrying our pain, and that pain can be spiritual, that pain can be physical, that pain can be emotional. There are so many people walking around looking like they're functioning really well, but they're grieving and hurting inside so badly.

And this emotional pain, this brokenness that we carry ours. You know, that's why, you know, sometimes if you're looking for a sympathetic ear, maybe sometimes you just want to share your pain, even if it's something physically you're going through, you know, and you go up to somebody, you say, Ah, I'm really struggling with this pain that I have in my knee. I can't even seem to get up a stair. Oh, let me tell you, I got this pain in my back that sends me to tears. And I go through...

What have we just done? We've replaced the person's pain with our own because that's what we do. My agenda, what I need, what I'm going through, and we forget about the bigger picture of our... our. We forget that we're connected. Because the person who truly gets to a spiritual place in life, a person who really kind of begins to understand God's presence, active and vibrant, and begins to almost see as God sees, begins to understand that we are all experiencing life differently. That I can't get inside of you to understand your loneliness. I can't get inside of you to understand your grief. But I can be empathetic and respect you for where you are at, and allow you to be who you are. Sharing your story as it is and being open and accepting it as it is. 

See, this is the problem with the Pharisee and the tax collector. You know, the Pharisee's living out of that false self, the polished one, protesting before everybody. "I'm not greedy. I'm not dishonest. I'm not adulterous. I'm not doing anything wrong. Look at me. I'm saying all my prayers. I'm right before God. I'm not doing any of that. But that guy over there, look at him, he's the lowest of low. He cheats people. He's not honest. He can't get his life together and doesn't, doesn't practice the rituals. I'm not like him." And the Pharisee, living out of the false self, judges that behavior. 

And then you have the tax collector, who's probably saying, "You know what? I know I mess up. I know I struggle with greed. I know that I can be dishonest. I know that I can't make my marriage work. I know that I struggle with loving. I know that I can't get it together. I'm trying to do the best I can, and I know how much of a sinner I am. I know I'm not perfect. And I don't even know how to pray right, But I know I need mercy, and so I'm just gonna cry out for that. I'm gonna cry out for mercy." 

Be honest. Honest. The Pharisee doesn't recognize or doesn't want to recognize that darker part of themselves. The part of themselves that doesn't always do it right; the part of themselves that's not always at the top of their game; the part of themselves that's not always the favored one and forgets that it's not about their agenda. They're not in control because you can't succeed unless you go to the source of life, who is God? 

But if it's all about us and we never get to the bigger picture of things, that we're here together, that we're sharing stories together, that we share life together because God has placed all of us here together and knows us better than we know ourselves, that we're on this bigger journey together, and that to be successful in that journey, we have to come together away from our agenda and say, "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner."

If we can't get to that point in our lives, then we're just as arrogant as that Pharisee, and just as blind and living a lie. 

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me as a sinner. I know my brokenness. I know how imperfect I am. I know how I can mess up, and I don't always know how to pick myself up. Have mercy (on) a sinner. 

You know, that's why it's so important to come away from the agenda of our lives each week, you know, as our opening hymn directed us today to be nourished here, to remember who we are, to actively demonstrate our dependence upon God, our need for mercy, and then deep gratitude for being able to be in the joy of his presence.

Father Mark Suslenko is the pastor of SS. Isidore and Maria Parish in Glastonbury, Connecticut. Learn more about our parish community at www.isidoreandmaria.org. And follow us on social media: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Our music comes free of charge from Blue Dot Sessions in Fall River, Massachusetts. I’m Carol Vassar. Thanks for joining us.